Grief.Place Blog

In late December it is common for many people to look back at the past year and to reflect on the good memories and the difficult challenges that one has gone through. We've all experienced some hardships and some happiness across the past 12 months, and these things are worth reflecting on and learning from. But I am trying something a little bit different this year. I'm thinking about people I've met from this past year who I would have liked to have talked about with my father. My father passed away in January 2021. While it's almost been two years since his passing, I still think about him often and miss being able to talk with him about what's going on in my life. When my father was alive, I would often tell him about the people that I met in my work or in my community. He always seemed to be interested in my accounts of new acquaintances. When I spoke with my dad about new people I noticed several positive outcomes: The conversation with my dad helped me to th...

Thanksgiving is the primary day of the year for Americans to highlight the importance of taking a moment to be grateful for the many blessings we have experienced. Such a day is important because our culture often pushes us to feel disappointed about the many things we have not received or achieved. I love Thanksgiving and what it represents. But perhaps it should inspire us to take an even bigger approach to life? Paul the Apostle writes in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 : True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. (New Living Translation NLT) In light of Paul's admonishment, perhaps we should consider the following question, "Is it enough to set aside one day to be thankful each year or should I be aiming for a life of contentment?" Now one may wonder how it is possible to achieve a life of conte...

Sometimes people ask me about helpful resources I recommend on the grieving process. While there are several good books and articles available, my most common recommendation is to point the questioner toward the Center for Loss & Life Transition . This organization is dedicated to helping people who are grieving and those who care for them. Interested individuals can explore their website and learn some basics about the grief process and even search for recommended counselors. The director of the Center for Loss & Life Transition is Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Dr. Wolfelt has developed an approach to helping those who are grieving by offering them a companion who listens rather than a counselor who directs them. Dr. Wolfelt's best known book is titled, Companioning the Bereaved . This resource details his perspective that those who have experienced the loss of a loved one are best served through support and engaged listening. There is no magic formula for supporting those in mou...

Recently I started a half-time position as a crisis counselor with Boys Town in Omaha, Nebraska. My responsibilities are to respond to callers who dial the 988 crisis hotline. I work to deescalate suicide ideation, offer appropriate referrals, and provide an empathetic ear. As a new crisis counselor I recognize that I need to be ready to offer appropriate resources to meet a variety of callers' needs. I have been impressed with the amount of resources that are available to individuals who live in larger urban areas. And I have been just as surprised to discover that many people living in rural areas have very few mental health and support services available to them. Fortunately, the Internet provides people across the country with access to a variety of databases of mental health providers across the country. (For example, here is a listing site by Trilogy Integrated Resources.) A directed web search can reveal curated, practical resources on a variety of mental health and w...

Jesus often used parables to present his ideas. This is partially because humans remember narratives better than simple admonishments. The story of the Good Samaritan encourages us to help others in a more profound way than a directive to be good.  If we were to offer an analogy regarding the loss of someone we love, what might that story sound like?  Experiencing the death of someone we care about is like being involved in a shipwreck. One day we are sailing along, making our way through life, when all of a sudden we get marooned on a deserted island.  Photo by CONNOR WIEGMANN on Unsplash This isn't a charming, vacation destination; this is Grief Island. As we emerge from the wreckage and crawl onshore we realize that we are in a terrible situation. First, we are all alone on this island. No matter how many people were traveling with us before the tragedy. and no matter how many people have been affected by the loss, each of us will be castaways on our own isolated isla...